Two things you can bet on: Humans pursue pleasure and avoid pain. Now, keep in mind, pleasure and pain are retaliative to the human; somebody’s pleasure may be another pain. Some people get great pleasure training for and completing a Triathlon.

People tell me their pain and, most times, I help lessen that pain. Occasionally I don’t, on those occasions I ask why. The answer I get time and time again is: The pain must be serving some purpose I’m not aware of. No one pursues pain unless it is a source of pleasure.

Pain serves a purpose and that it is far more beneficial than pleasure alone. I am not saying people should be in pain, just that people would be better off if they considered why the pain is there and what’s it purpose. Theologically, C.S. Lewis offered the best explanation of pains purpose:

“We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

Psychology and Theology are asking the same question: Are you listening?

If you are in pain today, there is a reason. The first thing to do is discover what it’s telling you. The reason will give you hints of what needs to be done to change.

That brings us to another necessity of pain: CHANGE. There is a really good post written by a really good (looking) guy   😉 → Time for Change

The Chinese have a word for the time to change, that word is 危机 (wēijī). It is made of two symbols that combined translate something to the effect of, a precarious opportunity. That’s it, pain is an indicator of a missed opportunity.

Imagine you are walking on the beach holding the hand of your favorite person. The sun is shining and a cool breeze is lightly blowing off the ocean, everything thing feels good. All of a sudden you feel a pebble in your shoe. You don’t want to interrupt tour pleasure so you do your best to casually move that pesky pebble to a place that doesn’t cause discomfort (pain). You will do this private dance until that pebble finally gets your attention and you stop and empty your shoe.

How about this; you are driving your car with that pesky check engine light on. Even better; you turn up the radio to try to ignore that sound your tire is making. You can ignore pain until you can’t.


This is the necessity of pain, it is our …


Reluctant Therapist