On average only 8% of New Years Resolutions are successful. After years of exhaustive research there appears to be a direct correlation between CHANGE and TIME. According to the author, ME, you can put off change but the longer you evade responsibility the greater pain (effort) required to change.

E-A-R-T-H  S-H-A-T-T-E-R-I-N-G!

Evade Responsibility increase painThere are two things you should know about time and change; they have a Love / Hate relationship. This means they either get along together or not. Meaning, if you don’t consider time into your plans for change, chances of success is cut in half.

Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.

William Penn

This therapist knows the reason most people fail to achieve has less to do with an internal flaw and more to do with a waste of time.

If life is a record, then time is the speed at which it plays. People say it drags while others report life flies by. The strange thing is, time’s universal. An hour in Iowa is the same in India. It measures events in order from the past through the present and into the future at the same rate regardless of location. This “realist” view is sometimes referred to as Newtonian time for Sir Isaac Newton. It means time is a container. As in, a thing containing evidence of life’s past, present and future. Another idea is time is a matter of “no matter” it exists in thought only. So, even though time and life are universal, they are both subject to Perception: a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something.

As a therapist, I love perception. Probably not for the reason you think. I love the way that it is a tool for manipulation. If your curious, ask me about manipulation or get a copy of my book.

Life and time, as I know it, is a true relation. Let me explain. True is life as I see it. Relative is life as you see it.  Relative is a comparison to something else. This means that every time you’re compared to someone else, it is a relative perspective, it’s not TRUE. Only seeing you for you is true representation, there is no comparison.

Are you with me? Time is subject to your view, as such, you can manipulate it to fit you rather than it manipulating you. See what William Penn is saying? The problem is never due to a LACK of time, but a WASTE of it.

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So… considering time into  your change formula doubles your chance of success. Time-Management is a critical! For instance, it’s important that I maintain a consistent exercise schedule or else I will fail. That means altering, manipulating, my schedule and route to work way so I pass the Galax Rec. Center every morning on my way to the office. This way I can consistently fit a half hour workout and shower into my schedule the same time each day. This significantly increase my new behaviors chance of survival.  Luckily I don’t pass Krispy Kreme.

Change is the other part of the Time – Change formula. Change comes in two flavors; first and second order. In my line of work I assess people based on the potential of change. Everyone thinks I judge them based on my opinion of what is right or wrong. I don’t. I honestly don’t care how you choose to live your life,  unless you are a threat to yourself or someone else. My job is to help YOU live the life YOU want. That means within a few sessions I assess your potential to change; get what you say you want.

To get what you want requires change which requires effort. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. The first step of change is clearing a path to the goal. This is officially called First-Order Change. 

Think of making a cup-cake. Before starting, you check to see you have everything needed; this is the FIRST step. Get it?

Before considering a new behavior ask yourself: Have I done everything needed in the First-Step? Before giving up on a new behavior ask yourself: Have I done everything needed in the First-Step? The failure to achieve has less to do with INterrnal failure and more to do with EXternal failure. I don’t care how hard you try, if you don’t have a way to bake the ingredients, you will not get a cup-cake.

The mechanic and I have something in common; people mostly come to us when something breaks. For me, that means parents bring in their broken kid. The typical case is Junior being labeled ADHD. Oh! I mean diagnosed of course. Before starting Junior on the path of life through chemistry, mom brings him into see if there is another way.

The first thing is to find out what ‘m working with. That means assessing the potential for change, both First and Second Order. If I am missing key ingredients like: structured bedtime, diet, exercise, family cohesion, I can’t start cooking. Like I said, most of the time, the problem is typically EXternal rather than INternal. Meaning; Junior ain’t broke, his environment is broke.

There is a right time for everything

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (TLB)

 Now your attitudes and thoughts must all be constantly changing for the better.  Yes, you must be a new and different person, holy and good. Clothe yourself with this new nature.

Ephesians 4:23-24 (TLB)

Three things I want you to remember during this season of change:

#1) Time is always a factor. Manage it well and  you will double your success.

#2) Change comes in two forms.  Control the EXternal so the INternal wins.

#3) You were created to change for the better.  To Grow, you must Change.

change

 

Check it out – CAUTION: The Choice is Yours

My wish for you this New Year is CHANGE: a gift that allows us to grow into better people.

God Bless,

Reluctant Therapist