Caring – about people, about things, about life – is an act of maturity.

Tracy McMillan


There is an assumption in polite society that you care. There is danger of assuming everyone cares. Maybe that is the problem. Assuming a majority care.

There are three people I know. Those that DO, you can see it. Then those that DON’T. Guess what? You can see it if you pay attention. Then there are some that it depends on the day.

There is bad and worse news. The bad news, DON’T give 50% to your 100%. It’s true no matter if it’s work, church, or Girl Scouts. They are happy to volunteer to have you do the work.

The worst news is when DON’T give a 100% to your 100% until they have 200% and you are broken.

I know a man who, after 60 years of selfishness, despite financial wealth, was morally bankrupt and alone. Life has a way of catching you in the end, there is always a day of reckoning. He foolishly made his money at the expense of others and for some reason did not think the Law of Time applied to him. At age 78, surrounded by multiple versions of himself, he had no peace, and created his own hell.

Like most people, he refused to accept responsibility for living the story he made. The relief from pain is what brings people to my door. What no one considers; I’m not the one who does the work. The effort to rewrite the ending of a bad story is huge and the pain needed  is even more. The longer the wait to correct bad choices results in greater pain required for change.

It is the story of two E.R. nurses. Mom brings her little boy to the hospital with a wound. The first nurse dabs the injury gently being careful not to cause additional pain. The second nurse pulls out an iodine scrub brushes and proceeds to scour the wound. The first nurse has good intent by not inflicting pain, however, the results is a wound partially cleaned resulting in longer recovery.  The second nurse, also with good intent, inflicted pain in the process of thoroughly cleaning the wound. The result is a faster more full recovery. The point of the story is clear, do not expect gain without some discomfort.

A quick note about reconciliation; it’s about peace. To reconcile means reaching an agreement or harmony. It starts with you reconciling with yourself, not just in words. Everyone knows the right words to say but do the opposite; it shows.

People always get themselves in train wrecks, I say themselves because they are driving the train. In twelve years of practice, I have yet to hear of a true train robbery. No one jumped onboard, gagged, tied and held them at gunpoint. It easier to explain a hijacking then it is accepting responsibility for the crash. If you weren’t driving and let someone else crash, guess what, you’re still responsible.

You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.

Abraham Lincoln

I had my share of crashes and spent time convincing others and me I was hijacked. It wasn’t until I took responsibility for the crashes that they stopped.